The other day while decorating the mantle with stockings and lights, Alex asked me if Mrs. Claus was real. I hesitated before answering because this was a delicate topic. Delicate because I have changed my mind repeatedly about how to handle this tradition that I loved as a child and new parent.
It seems that my children are way more inquisitive than I ever was. I NEVER asked my mom if Santa was real. Secretly, I knew he couldn't be, but I didn't ever want that confirmed, and more importantly, I didn't want him to stop coming to my house with presents.
Aaron used to make up stuff and tell Sydni as if it were true. Like the way Santa knows if you've been bad or good. He told her that elves hid everywhere to watch them. If you ever see a glimpse of something out of the corner of your eye, it's an elf, checking on you. I never told him these things. I have no idea where he got it. They had elaborate ways for him to come down the chimney and get into houses, too, but that memory escapes me.
It was only a matter of time before they questioned the logic of it all. I knew they were asking because it didn't make sense to them, but I also knew that they didn't really want to know. (I know there's no way they believed a giant bunny snuck in the house to leave baskets of candy and a tooth "fairy"? come on!) With Sydni, it was always like walking on eggshells to keep from making her burst into tears over things like that. I knew I better have some kind of answer ready. That's when I made up this answer that became my standard response to their many questions: "If you start questioning Santa Claus, he might stop coming, so you better not ask."
Well, eventually, they figured it out. It was becoming more and more difficult to hide the wrapping paper that "Santa" was going to use so they wouldn't recognize it and to disguise the handwriting on the gift tags from Santa so they wouldn't figure it out. I did all this to protect their fragile emotions. I just noticed that "Santa" has all the same letters as "Satan", and I don't think this is any coincidence.
Well, fast forward to 2007. All these memories must have flashed through my mind (and the heartache) when Alex asked, "Is Mrs. Claus real?" I said, "No." Then he said, "Oh, it's just someone dressed up?" Then a few minutes later, "So does the fake Santa Claus bring us presents?" I said, "No." He said, "Oh. You and Dad just sneak downstairs and pretend like you're Santa Claus giving us presents?" I said, "Yeah." There were no tears at all.
Five minutes later, Savanna came in from outside where she had been helping Daddy put lights up. Immediately, Alex said, "Santa's not real. Mom and Dad just sneak downstairs and give us presents." No response from her. It was like she must have known and wasn't all that surprised. Later she asked me about it, and I told her he wasn't real, but that it was fun to pretend and so we would just pretend. She was fine with that.
As you know, I have daycare kids during the day. Monday morning, I heard Alex telling Sejal (almost 4 years old--only 9 days older than Alex) that Santa wasn't real and Mom and Dad sneak downstairs . . . I had to intervene right away. Now I have a whole other set of problems I didn't foresee. At least I don't have the guilt of lying to my kids. My conscience just wouldn't let me rest about the fact that I was lying every time they asked me.
Now Alex is driving me crazy wanting to know when we can go see Santa at the mall. He calls him the fake Santa.
It seems that my children are way more inquisitive than I ever was. I NEVER asked my mom if Santa was real. Secretly, I knew he couldn't be, but I didn't ever want that confirmed, and more importantly, I didn't want him to stop coming to my house with presents.
Aaron used to make up stuff and tell Sydni as if it were true. Like the way Santa knows if you've been bad or good. He told her that elves hid everywhere to watch them. If you ever see a glimpse of something out of the corner of your eye, it's an elf, checking on you. I never told him these things. I have no idea where he got it. They had elaborate ways for him to come down the chimney and get into houses, too, but that memory escapes me.
It was only a matter of time before they questioned the logic of it all. I knew they were asking because it didn't make sense to them, but I also knew that they didn't really want to know. (I know there's no way they believed a giant bunny snuck in the house to leave baskets of candy and a tooth "fairy"? come on!) With Sydni, it was always like walking on eggshells to keep from making her burst into tears over things like that. I knew I better have some kind of answer ready. That's when I made up this answer that became my standard response to their many questions: "If you start questioning Santa Claus, he might stop coming, so you better not ask."
Well, eventually, they figured it out. It was becoming more and more difficult to hide the wrapping paper that "Santa" was going to use so they wouldn't recognize it and to disguise the handwriting on the gift tags from Santa so they wouldn't figure it out. I did all this to protect their fragile emotions. I just noticed that "Santa" has all the same letters as "Satan", and I don't think this is any coincidence.
Well, fast forward to 2007. All these memories must have flashed through my mind (and the heartache) when Alex asked, "Is Mrs. Claus real?" I said, "No." Then he said, "Oh, it's just someone dressed up?" Then a few minutes later, "So does the fake Santa Claus bring us presents?" I said, "No." He said, "Oh. You and Dad just sneak downstairs and pretend like you're Santa Claus giving us presents?" I said, "Yeah." There were no tears at all.
Five minutes later, Savanna came in from outside where she had been helping Daddy put lights up. Immediately, Alex said, "Santa's not real. Mom and Dad just sneak downstairs and give us presents." No response from her. It was like she must have known and wasn't all that surprised. Later she asked me about it, and I told her he wasn't real, but that it was fun to pretend and so we would just pretend. She was fine with that.
As you know, I have daycare kids during the day. Monday morning, I heard Alex telling Sejal (almost 4 years old--only 9 days older than Alex) that Santa wasn't real and Mom and Dad sneak downstairs . . . I had to intervene right away. Now I have a whole other set of problems I didn't foresee. At least I don't have the guilt of lying to my kids. My conscience just wouldn't let me rest about the fact that I was lying every time they asked me.
Now Alex is driving me crazy wanting to know when we can go see Santa at the mall. He calls him the fake Santa.
3 comments:
I struggle with this now, too. I never did before, but the whole lying thing gets to me as well. Funny how God can change your perspective on things. I did the same thing when the kids would ask about Santa, "If you don't believe, he might not come anymore." But with Cassie, the last couple of years, I've wanted to do it different. But haven't. I did tell her the Easter bunny is not real and someone was not very happy, so I haven't touched on the Santa topic yet.
SANTA'S NOT REAL??? What are you guys talking about????
I can only guess who "someone" might be in Angie's comments.
The fact of the matter is that I have very fond memories of the holidays as a child and it is important to me that the children have the same. Santa is a part of that. I tell the kids (all the kids, mind you) that there is a Santa. All I know is that I go to bed one night and the next morning there are presents under the tree that weren't there when I went to bed. It doesn't matter if Angie puts them there, or some imaginary fat guy in a funky red suit. It's fun for the kids and fun for us.
Why ruin it? It doesn't damage them, and they eventually learn that WE are Santa...a fact that doesn't seem to take their excitement away from the day...
SL
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